Out of Rythm

  When you get used to a pattern in your life then changes feel really weird. We got home from vacation on Sunday evening, so this morning I went to the Nursing home to see Mom. She was very sober. She didn't lighten up at all except I got her to smile for the second picture I took of her.

  I showed her pictures on my Kindle just to give her something to think about. She smiles at pictures of her grandkids but when we got to a picture of me she just stares at it. Sober as a judge. I started to wonder if she was blaming me for this nursing home stint. But Larita said she responded to her in the same way.

   Tomorrow I will go in at 9am to comb her hair, we'll see how she does then. I plan to stop by the house and get some things she is familiar with and see if that makes her happy.

I had to chuckle a little tonight at Merry. After a long day of laundry and pulling weeds in my garden I decided to soak my feet before I go to bed. Merry took the opportunity to help me. She grabs the foot brush and goes to work.

On this particular footbrush is what looks like a cheese grater in miniature. She proceeds to use the thing on my heel and when I flinched she says,
  "Don't be a wimp mom."

  She continues with her grating job and gives me a look and says, "Someday you'll thank me."

  Aha! I laughed, maybe I understand my mom just a little better now!

   It will take awhile for me to get used to the new pattern. I always feel like it's time to run and put mom to bed and then realize that she isn't at home. Most likely she is adjusting to the new rhythm too!

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Changes

Mom continues to improve but I wonder if she will ever get back to what she was before her blood clot.

  Her swelling is very nearly back to normal, but she still doesn't walk well. Sometimes we think she is doing great and the next day she's back to not so good again. She will be on her blood thinner for the rest of her life.

Dad has been hoping that she will improve enough so that Angie and I won't have to come as often, but I don't see that happening. I don't want him to strain himself. If he goes down, life will be much more complicated.

Tonight when Angie and I were there to put mom to bed I saw an Anacin box laying on the counter in the kitchen. So I asked Dad if he bought them for him or mom.  He said they were for him, he's having trouble with his hip. So I told him again not to strain himself trying to get mom up from her chair or bed anymore.

  We have made a difficult decision this week. Our family has driven an hour and 15 minutes for church for the past five years. With mom needing more care it makes it so much harder to get there. We have decided to attend Pop's church for now until mom is no longer here or no longer needs my help.

  We will miss our friends at church. Changes are not always easy. But I'm trying to learn to roll with the punches.