When Life Gives You Lemons

   Who doesn't like lemonade? That's what they tell you to do when you get lemons dumped into your life. Make lemonade. Oh well, it's probably good advice.

   My patience has been sorely tested lately with lawn equipment. We have had a lot of rain recently. Which is a God send for the garden. But the grass flourished as well and that's when the lawnmower decided to die.

   I decided at least I can go out and whip some weeds with the weedeater. I went out and pulled the starter string twice. It gave a promising firing sound but on the next pull I was left with a long string in my grip that wouldn't retract.

Oh bother! I ran the offensive machine down the road to my brother in law. He fixed it and returned it. I decided to try again. One yank and I stared in dismay at the long piece of string that refused to retract. AGAIN!

  Steve says run it in to the repair man. So I did. It took at least 3 days to get it back. They charged me 18.00. I took it home, eager to whip the weeds. Guess what? One pull on the string and I'm back to square one. AGAIN!

  I reluctantly ran the unruly machine back to the repair man again. He said he had replaced the spring but found he should have replaced a plastic flywheel of some sort. I picked it up the next day and brought it home and handed it over to my son to run. You can only imagine how sweet the music of that running machine sounded to my ear as weeds began dying like crazy out there.

  The very next day I sent my other son out to finish the job and I stretched out on the couch for a nap. I wasn't there long, just drifting off into sweet repose when my son burst in the door and shatters my sleep with the dreaded proclamation that the string once again refused to wind back in. AGAIN!

  I was tempted to be mad.....really. But God put his hand on me and told me to take a deep breath and wait. I said, "OK God, I'm giving that weedeater to you so I don't have to be bothered with it anymore."

   That took care of the anger. Tonight we had another thunder and lightning roaring downpour. I went out to retrieve God's weedeater that was still sitting where it had been left in the yard.

   I think I just found my recipe for lemonade.

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Whats up with Mom

 

                                  An old couple in miniature, sitting in the foyer at the nursing home.






   On Monday I went in to be with Dad in a meeting with Therapy and the Social worker at the nursing home. Therapy said they have done all they can with mom and she won't be getting any better than she is right now. Which means she won't be walking. They will only continue with therapy this week yet and then they are done.

  The social worker wanted to know what we are thinking about keeping mom there or taking her home. We know that we would need a lift if we took her home. They are using a standing lift at the home right now. Because she now has Medicaid they said she is welcome to stay there. We know that either way we will not make a decision until Angie gets back from her vacation.

   Dad realizes that it will take more man power than what we have to bring her home. I like the round the clock care that she is getting at the nursing home which is something we haven't been able to do at home. Even though Dad does a good job, one old man can't do what round the clock nursing can. Going twice a day to get her up and put her to bed like Angie and I were isn't really sufficient either.

  I understand now why Angie used to mutter under her breath about what the nursing home would be doing for her if she was there. Although I don't think any of us really wanted her to go there. All in all they have very nice people working at the home. I feel like Mom is being well cared for. I think they like her in there because she really is no trouble. She just sits quietly in her chair.

  When I got there on Monday morning she was sitting in her wheelchair looking a little droopy. She kept looking down and was holding a washcloth up to her face. The nurses had given it to her to wipe her face with.  I talked to her and tried to get some interaction going but she ignored me. Pop said I should give her the doll to hold, so I wrapped it in a blanket and gave it to her. She held it and snuggled it in her arms.

Acceptance

   The first week of mom being at the nursing home were hard. I kept feeling guilty, surely I should have been able to find a way to keep her at home.

   Even though I knew I wasn't mentally able to handle the 8 weeks of care while Angie was gone on vacation. Not physically either for that matter.
 
  I watch with wonder and envy at the ease with which they move mom at the home using the lift.

   This week has been good. Every time I went to visit Dad has been relaxed and happy. Mom seems a little brighter and knew who we were. She indicated that by looking at each one of us when Pop asked her to point us out.

My dad says she's better off at the home because she gets more constant interaction, she goes to therapy each day and gets moved oftener. He doesn't think she is unhappy there.

I'm feeling much better about it too. I'm not really surprised though that I had to go on an antibiotic for Lyme again. Too much stress sometimes brings it back.

   Although my doctor doesn't really agree, he says I get it again because I got a fresh tick bite. I'm not going to argue with him. Maybe he's right. I know the symptoms very well. I go from feeling energetic and fine to dragging with fatigue, feeling like I'm walking around carrying a hundred pound burden on the back of my neck, my muscles tense with pain and I can barely drag my feet from point A to point B.

   My brain feels like a radio station that just can't be tuned clearly enough for the music to be heard, and I feel like my judgement is a wee bit off.

  I'm thankful all this waited to happen until mom was safely at the nursing home.
  

  
  
  

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How Does Mom Feel about It?

   I wish I knew how mom is feeling about her nursing home stay. It is impossible to know. She does not show a lot of emotion. She will wince or frown if I touch a spot that hurts. But mostly she just looks at me with an uncomprehending stare.

  She seemed to like the "Ocean in a bottle" she turned it over and over trying to see the turtle. I though I got a picture of her with the bottle but it must be on my phone, so instead I posted pictures of my two new grandbabies!

Maybe a better title for this post would be, How do I feel about mom being in the nursing home. I mostly don't like it, but while we are on the subject, I don't like Dementia either.

Having mom at home is much better on the emotions. But there are some positives, at the nursing home she gets around the clock care and she goes to therapy everyday. I think Dad is adjusting too, but the first week was rough on him.

  Mom still responds well to kids. Even though she largely ignores me, she will still light up and smiles at the children.

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