Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

                                                              

 Christmas is over for another year. We always look forward to family time, food and fellowship. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. If you didn't then seeking out the Christ of Christmas will ease your pain, help you find peace and a joy that is beyond your understanding. I find it is way too easy to get busy with preparations of family coming and making food to the point of missing the real meaning of why we celebrate.

 My Dad and Angie and I took Mom to the school program at their church at LightHouse Chapel on the 20th We took her in a wheelchair so that if she had any "accidents" we could just wheel her out and take care of her. But she did very well. She seemed to enjoy it. I noticed that most people could walk past her without too much problem but when Galen or Donna walked by she grabbed for them and didn't want to let go.

  On Christmas Day we, along with Lucas and Anna and their two little boys took Brunch over to Dad's house so that they could have some fun and fellowship too. We made stuffed French Toast and an Egg Quiche of sorts. It is a little hard to get Mom into our house anymore with our steps. She told me years ago that we need a ramp. We used to haul Grandma in on a wheelchair. Bump, bump, bump up the stairs. But it was easier to take the food to Mom this time.

  Matt and Kaitlyn had the flu on Christmas Day so they didn't make it for our gift exchange. They came the next day then. We had planned a surprise for our kids this year and so the anticipation of that was fun. We wanted to take them on a sleigh ride but because there was no snow we went on a horse drawn wagon ride instead. It was chili but fun. The kids say they get to plan the surprise next year. So we are in a little trepidation of what they could come up with. You never know what your kids might do when you are at their mercy. Lol!

                                                                        Kaiden

                                                                          Blake

                                                                          Our Ride

                                                             Blake and his Mama  (Anna)

                                                     Hannah ( Marc's new Bride )

                                         

                                                   Kaiden

Today is Mom's Birthday!

 Mom turned 84 years old today. She is 30 years and 3 days older than Steve. That's how I remember how old they are. I can usually pinpoint one or the other. Whenever I want to know how old Mom is I think of Steve and figure it out, or the other way around.

  We had a good day. It was my turn to stay with Mom. Angie had called me weeks ago and we made plans to have lunch with Mom. Angie said she would buy chicken from KFC. Because Mom always loved their chicken. She asked me to do the Potato Salad. I think I got the best end of the deal. Because she had to spend a fortune. I invited the rest of the family to come at 2:00 for ice cream and cake because even though Angie would have bought Chicken for everyone. I didn't have the heart to let her.

  We did Mom's shower today and I cleaned the mess between Mom and Pop's chairs. It looks much better now. Mom got a lot of cards for her birthday. I put some on the wall beside her chair at eye level where she can see them. I found that she had chucked a few in the trash can when I emptied it. Don't worry, she would never do that if her mind was working right. But that is just how she does now.

  She got a cute little scrapbook in the mail from her nieces, Linda and Cheryl, don't ask me what their last names are. It's been too long. I know their maiden names though. Linda Hostetler and Cheryl Garretson. After inspecting the little book we discovered it was made from those little white lunch bags folded in half with a spiral binding added. They did an excellent job. I didn't think to take pictures today. But I am going back tomorrow and again on Tues. well actually everyday next week because Kristin will be on vacation and Phebe will be doing her job over there. So I will take the camera and get some pictures to post so you can see this cute little book.

  It was fun to be at the folks again with other ones from the family. It's been a long time since we were all there like that. Reminded me of the days when we used to do that more. Darwin's were there. Our two married sons were there. Luc and Anna and their two sons, Kaiden & Blake, also Marc and Hannah. Actually we have three married sons but Matt lives too far away and is planning to be here for Christmas. So he couldn't make it for today. OK lets be honest. I didn't even invite him cause I knew he wouldn't come two weekends in a row.

 

                                                                Singing Happy Birthday

                                                                     Pop and Mom

                                             Darwin and Mom with Merry and Dawson

                                          Birthday cake and Mom's favorite food.....ice cream!

Comments

  I recently got a Christmas card from Uncle Les & Aunt Sue. They put a note in there saying they can't comment on my blog posts because they were being required to have a Google account. I think I fixed that now. So if you want to leave a comment it should work now :)
  Have a great weekend!

Brain Food

  Mom has been doing some better this past week. She seems to comprehend better, She appears to recognize us better, and I notice she's more concerned about modesty when she gets her shower. My Dad says he is giving her Brain Food and Zeolite. I usually am the worst skeptic you can find when it comes to taking a lot of Health Products. Probably because I have seen too many come and go. But I have to admit that I did see a change in her before I knew he was giving her anything.

  This morning when Angie and I got to the house to shower Mom she was drinking her morning shake, loaded with her Brain improvement products. She was overjoyed to see that I had Merry with me. It didn't take her long to start blowing into her straw and making a whistling noise. My Dad said that was one of her most recent activities. I stood there watching her when I got the inspiration to give her a Harmonica.

  We gave her the shower first but then after she was all dressed and combed I gave her a Harmonica to blow on. She loved it. I don't think she played any particular tune but she was making merry melodies when I left. I'm thinking my Dad will probably put it out of reach soon.

It Doesn't All End Here

 Sometimes perspective is all we need. Our care for Mom continues week after week. She stays pretty much the same. Her worsening progression is so minute it can hardly be noticed. Like the hour hand of the clock, it moves slowly and unheeded by us all until the end of the day we realize, it really has moved on and the day is gone.

  Today Mom had a window of clarity where I think she really remembered me. How precious to feel the pressure as she squeezed my hand hard and smiled. It felt so good to be acknowledged again. I had become so resigned to her not knowing who I am that I think I have been pretty downhearted about it without really admitting it to myself.

   It didn't last long. By the time she walked to the bathroom for her shower the moment had passed. She frowned and shook her head "no" very vigorously when we started her bath. Then she violently kicked the water again.

  I thought about it regretfully as we got her dressed then. The sadness and sorrow of Mom no longer being herself. As I pondered the thing I had a light bulb moment... IT DOESN"T END HERE! There's no reason to get too down about this. This is only a moment compared to all of eternity when Mom and I will know each other like we always did. IT ISN"T OVER! I will have a mother/daughter relationship again with her soon....

  Some day soon, she will be her neat self again. She won't have an unheeded drippy nose, she won't get food everywhere all over herself and not care that she has crumbs sticking to her chin. Her bathroom inabilities will no longer exist.

 It doesn't end here. It's all a matter of perspective!

   Just for fun today I asked her where her cookbooks are. She pointed out the general direction but I insisted she get up and show me. She did. Not very eagerly, but she marched right over and showed me where they are kept. Wow! She remembers.

Mom's Got a Birthday Coming

  Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! I hope you all had wonderful times with your families!  We had a rare treat at our house. Steve's Brother, Sister and their families were here along with his Mother. So our house was full and overflowing with people fun and food.

  The guys and some of the girls had a Bow Shoot Competition. They had a lot of fun and prizes as well. The younger division were shooting an Air Rifle and the prize was won by one of the girls. She defeated 3 of her Boy Cousins. I suppose some of that will end up being posted on their FB page Schrock Outdoors

  Since we had visitors we didn't make it for Thanksgiving Dinner with Mom and Dad. Angie cooked Thanksgiving dinner at her house and Roger's came up and were at Jay and Angie's along with The folks.

  Mom's Birthday is on Dec 19th, I was thinking that some of you might be interested in sending her some gifts that she would enjoy with the limited mind that she has now. I found a link that has all kinds of things for people with Alzheimers and Dementia Best Products for Dementia and Alzheimers  I didn't look at everything they have to offer.

 I remember how she used to say she loved to visit Aunt Eileen and how they would listen to the comedies on the Radio. I'm too young to know what those programs were but maybe some of you remember and can bring some of those back into her life. I think visuals are better than audios though.

  Please understand that you are under no obligation to send anything. But if you don't have her address please contact me.

If Life Were a book

   I love books! I learned that from my Mom. When I was growing up our one Living Room wall was equipped with Book shelves from wall to wall. Mom was part of a Christian Book Club for a period of time that sent her a new book monthly. I don't know where she got all of her books from, but I became friends with books at an early age. You can get an entire education just by reading books.

  When I got my hands on a new book, I always looked forward to the next chapter with great anticipation. I can't remember ever pausing, looking back and longing after the chapter I had just finished. As the story unfolded there was always so much to anticipate in the next chapter. It was very rare though that I would skip to the end and read ahead. That spoils the entire book. Even though my Dad jokingly says he does that because he might not live to finish the book and then he knows ahead of time what happened.

  This morning I turned on some music to set the tone for my day. Music creates a happy atmosphere for the kids to get up to. I found a file on my computer entitled "Worship" so I clicked on it and listened to a playlist that one of my kids must have put in there as I have no memory of doing it. Besides it had some music in it that I don't naturally go for simply because I grew up in the Country Gospel era and that is what I habitually listen to.

  But as the music flowed through the house I was filled with a flood of memories that turned my pages back to a chapter I just closed, and it filled me with a sweet sadness. One of the songs, "It's not about me" is a song that our son Mark used to sing with his guitar. That reversed my mind to when he still lived here before he got married. He would habitually come home from work, take a shower, eat supper and play guitar. The beauty of a memory is that you can still see and hear in your minds eye. I learned from him that there are other genres of music that are acceptable other then Country Gospel. He doesn't read my blog so he will never know I said that! He likes worship music. When I told him I like the old hymns he declared that the worship groups sing old hymns as well as new. So he pulled up the News Boys for me. I actually liked it.

  I miss the days too when the kids were all still at home and we went to the nursing home once a month to sing. I wonder why it is that it is so easy to look back and think of the days that are past and love those days. Instead of looking ahead and anticipating the next chapter! If life were a book I would, maybe I would even take a peek at the last page.

Yesterday With Mom

  I spent the day with Mom yesterday. She sat in her chair very patiently. I would go crazy sitting in a chair all day. I hope I never get Dementia for my kids sake. Mine too, come to think of it. But I don't think I would want to sit.  But sit she did. I took Merry along and she can be very entertaining so I guess Grandma wasn't bored.

  I spent most of the day cooking. My Dad wanted Chocolate Upside Down cake. So I made that and a double batch of his favorite standby he calls Chems. I think the original name is Graham Jems. But anyway he loves them and always asks for more. I also made meatloaf, Baked Chicken and cooked regular potatoes and sweet potatoes and put most of it in the freezer until my next turn. The rest of the family around here do meals for them too. I just find it easier to do my share when I'm there with Mom anyway.

   Mom reminds me of grandma when I used to spend time with her in her later years. Physically, not mentally. Grandma was always mentally sharp. I remember many a laugh with Grandma because she could understand all the jokes and fun.

   Dementia is really tough. You take care of the body of a person who is no longer there. I don't let myself dwell on it most of the time. But when I do it makes me incredibly sad. I don't believe Mom knows who I am. Maybe once in a great while she still gets a glimpse of reality. But I almost never get that Motherly affection anymore. I was talking to my neighbor one day whose mother had Dementia. She recounted the story of how her mom was staying at her house. One day they were sitting out on the porch and her mom looks at her and starts to say something. My neighbor said she thought they were going to have a rare mother/daughter moment but her mom looks at her and says, "Who are you anyway?"

  My Mom can't talk so I don't expect any verbal recognition but I can tell by her eyes that I am not anyone special to her. That warm sweet flow between us is gone. She used to care about what goes on in my life. She didn't even like when we left for a few days vacation and especially not that I didn't call home. But now she doesn't even care at all.

  I went through some bags yesterday that were in her spare room closet. I found one that she apparently took on the train on their trip to Oregon for Tebo's funeral. Inside there was a poem written by Darwin, found on my other blog.In Honor of Tebo   and the funeral program. I looked at that for awhile and thought of Tebo and how the world is just a bit more lonely knowing that he isn't here anymore. Then I wondered how it is that someone so young is gone and someone as old as Mom is still here when her mind isn't. I hope my readers understand me. If you don't that's o.k. sometimes I don't understand myself. It's a mixed up world with emotions that make sense and don't at the same time.

  I do know that I still know Mom and I still have the warm affection for the person she used to be and that it is my offering of love to her to care for her and make sure I fill my share of her care by doing the things that keep her comfortable. I miss her though and sometimes I wonder if I really remember who she was.
 

A Letter From Mom

    I stayed with Mom a little today while Dad ran to town. I did some laundry, washed dishes and swept floors. Oh I forgot to mention that Mom was coloring some pictures in a Clifford The Big Red Dog coloring book. I asked her what she wanted to do, look at a magazine? She shook her head "no" and looked bored. So I asked her is she wanted to color and she nodded her head. So she colored while I worked.

  But after I was all done and Pop still ain't there...well what's a girl to do? Well, this girl reads Diaries! You might want to hide yours when I come to your house! Lol! Oh, but this is my Mom, so that's different.

  I found a letter that Mom wrote in Dec of 2013. I thought I would share it with you.

Things That Make Life Easier for the Caregivers

   I am learning as I go. So you may see things posted here that make the world go round a little better. One of those things is helpers that do their work and entertain at the same time. Here is Kristin's idea of helping Grandma's day go by happier.

                                                 She is playing BeJewelled on Kristin's Ipad


   I found some great looking waterproof chair pads for Mom's chair at Amazon. They are on sale right now. I put some in my cart till I decide if I'm going to buy them or not. They would look nice on her chair.

                                          Oh, and here's the iPad if you need one of those too! :)

     Some games do help exercise the brain, and help with dementia. Even though I have told my kids for years that video games turn your brains into Mashed Potatoes.

 

This post contains affiliate links

Mom

I thought I better stop by even though its late and I am posting with my Kindle instead of the PC. My Kindle won't post my paragraphs right. On Thurs. Larita came to visit. It was Mom's shower day so Angie and I were both there when she came.It was great to have her there again. While I was combing Mom Angie was standing close by and Mom reaches out and pats her belly, I said "Yeah Mom, she's expecting." Mom got this big grin on her face. I think she believed me!Later she pats her on the belly again. My boys stayed at Grandmas house on Friday afternoon while some of us girls went shopping. When I got back I asked Mom if they behaved and she vehemetly shook her head "no"

Coffee May Prevent Dementia

 Good news to all of us who love our Coffee. I knew there was a reason, and for the record Mom drank some coffee but she never was "A coffee drinker"

 I posted some links to articles that will prove I'm not just saying this because I love my coffee. Even if it is what gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and what gives me that afternoon pickup instead of a nap and even though I enjoy that last cup after supper as a social time with my husband and my kids.

  Now I have scientific evidence.....

  Maybe we don't know for sure, but at least we can feel great about drinking our coffee because, you know, it might!


 Coffee Strong Enough to Ward Off Dementia


5 Diseases Your Morning Coffee Can Prevent

Facing Giants

  In church on Sunday, the pastor got up to preach the message, but before he started he called on my son....."____________(I won't say which son for the sake of...oh whatever :) anyway the pastor asked, "What was my message about last Sunday?"

  Talk about being put on the spot! I don't have to tell you that his Mom was squirming. After he admitted that he couldn't remember, the pastor opened it up to anyone....What did he preach about the Sunday before?"
 Would you believe no one knew? Nobody, me included....could answer the question.

  Can you imagine how exasperating that must be for a pastor who dedicates most of the day before and spends hours in prayer only to find no one remembers!

I figured out from having kids why Jesus said so many times,"He that hath ears to hear, let him hear"

 Well the truth is we are forgetful people and sometimes inattentive. But he did preach a good message about facing the giants in our life. He used the story of David and Goliath. I was impressed by a few things because I have a GIANT in my life, but I am not telling what it is until I tell you the good stuff first.

1. The odds are against me. Meaning the giant is bigger than I am and I have no hope of winning unless God intervenes.

 2.  I need to be God-focused.Not enemy focused. Yay! I really like this one because when I see God I get REALLY HAPPY and when I see the face of the enemy it's scary and looks too big.

 3.David had only two important questions that I need to be asking as well. WHO IS THIS UNCIRCUMCISED PHILISTINE THAT DEFIES THE ARMIES OF THE LIVING GOD? and WHO IS ON GOD'S SIDE? David made two statements that need to be in my heart and mouth as well. "THE LORD WILL DELIVER ME." and "I COME TO YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LORD OF HOSTS, THIS DAY WILL THE LORD DELIVER YOU INTO MY HAND."

4. David referenced God 9 times and the Giant 2 times in that story, In order to win the battle I can focus on God without fear. I don't have to cower in front of the enemy because God fights along with me. He makes my aim accurate, he reaches out and steadies my shield of faith when it begins to slip. He whispers in my ear and lets me know that his victory is sure and that there are more with me than with the enemy.

5. DO NOT RETREAT! I really liked this one. DO NOT RETREAT! I do remember one thing from the Sunday before. One of the families at church had a new baby, a girl after four boys. The Dad was on for devotions, but he forgot. So he did an impromto reading of Eph 6. That part stuck in my mind because I noticed something....

                                                         The Whole Armor of God

10 Finally, my brethren,be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit,


 I noticed that what we need to do is  TAKE, STAND and PRAY . Everything else is about God, His Power, His Armor  It makes the battle so much easier when we realize that the BATTLE IS THE LORD'S.

   So now, what is this giant that I am facing? It is fear of the future, and about Mom. How long will Mom need care? Is she going to be bedfast? At all? A long time? A short time? What if something happens to Dad like it did before? 

  Everyone has giants that they face from time to time in their life. I have seen many crumble, so I know that God will fight this battle with me. I know he has it all taken care of.  I love to focas on God for he is always faithful, always the conquering king, always more powerful than any enemy that comes against us. So even though I find myself in the valley of the unknown I will fear no evil.

  We have so much to be thankful for. Mom is very easy to care for. She is mild and mostly happy. I mentioned before that Angie is good at getting her to respond. Today my Dad said he would like Apple Crisp and Angie asked Mom if she wants some. She nodded her head, than Angie asked her who should make it, herself or me. Mom points at Angie indicating she should. Angie gets a big laugh out of that and I'm secretly rejoicing because I'm too busy and Angie likes to cook better than I do :)

A picture we took on one of Mom's good days. Angie wanted to make her look as close to normal as we could. She looks really good here.

                                                                Kristin with Grandma

Time Changes Things

  Mom is still being very happy most of the time. Angie and I were there today for her shower. She was looking kind of mad and kicking the water (like a kid). We asked her if she is mad and then she looked at us very intently and smiled. Like she knew she really shouldn't be mad at us.

  She still gets out a word or two sometimes. Last time I was there I told her that Uncle Earl had called me. She worked really hard and managed to say EE A R L.

  Yesterday was my birthday. Not that it matters so much that it was my birthday but  it holds a little note of sadness for me. Mom always remembered Birthdays. She always had a gift waiting. The last birthday gift she gave me was bath towels.

   Last year was the first time in 48 years that she didn't remember. So this year my Dad called to wish me a Happy Birthday for the first time that I can remember. I guess he's taking Mom's place.

Thanks to Uncle Earl we get another post tonight!

    On Saturday I got a call from Uncle Earl, just checking in to see if I was still living and breathing, because I haven't been here since Oct 4th. I have to admit it has been a really busy time and since Mom has been behaving pretty well it was easy to let it slide. But I really don't want to. Although I have been having way too much fun with my Grandchildren :) I love being a Grandma!

   Here is a song for you Grandparents out there.

  

   So now the news on Mom. She has been so good. Seems mostly happy. Her biggest hangup is she hates to have her toenails and fingernails clipped and will put up a huge fuss. One time I tried to cut her toenails I ended up straddling her leg and that put me in a precarious position that she immediately took advantage of. I found myself flying across the room. So that was the last time I tried that. I'm learning a lot about what not to do.

    Her not cooperating with trimming the nails brought her some grief though. One evening she was planning to try to get out the door and fell in the process. She tore her big toe nail and she is going to lose it. She did submit to a trimming then. Not sure how that went because my Dad did it. I just saw it was much better. My Dad asked me to do her fingernails then too, I had to reassure her over and over that it was not going to hurt and I would be extremely careful. So we got that job done and everyone is happy now.

    Hope you enjoy the song and don't forget to thank God that you still have your mind and can trim your own toenails!

Days Go By

Mom was having a more rational day when we went to give her a shower last time. When we walked in my Dad said, "Here comes the team." That felt good, knowing I'm not alone in this! ....... Angie is always very interactive with Mom. She got her to say her (Angies) name and then we exclaimed that Mom was talking and Mom manages to say "talking" in PA Dutch. So that was really cool........... On Sat. I took my turn with Mom. I decided weather was too nice to stay inside all day. So I got her in the van and we took off. I noticed Mom waved at all the houses as we drobe by. There was no one to be seen. She just waved. Being friendly I guess. We picked up Angie and then my 2 girls and headed into town for a donut. Mom loved her donut. When she finishedhers she promtly took the other half of mine and ate it. Then she took the coffee right out of my hannd and drank that too. I was telling my daughter about how Grandmas mind just ain't right no more. She would have never done that before. To which my daughter responded with, "That sounds just like something my Mom would do.She knows what she's doing.Lol!

Update

 I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted here. I have been so busy! But I will give you all a quick update.

  Mom has been doing" pretty good for the shape she is in! " :)  Quote from Grandma Kropf. I still remember Grandma's classic expressions. After she took the walk to the bathroom and back to her chair she would always breathe a huge sigh of relief and say," Whew!, That's work."   Another saying was, "This old lady ain't what she used to be."

  But back to Mom now...... She has a good attitude. Usually is happy unless she senses that someone, (like my Dad) is sad and then she gets concerned and sad too. But generally speaking, she seems content except for the times she gets in her head that she needs to go somewhere.

  LaRita stayed with Mom while the rest of us went to Dolan's and Dominique's wedding. I still need to get a report from her on how that went.

 So just want you all to know, we are still here very much alive. To Uncle Earl, I took your cd to Mom now. She seemed to enjoy the music, but I couldn't tell if she recognized it. I told some of you that I don't know if Mom knows me from anyone else, she did however try to say my name on Monday when we were there and nodded her head when I asked her if LaRita stayed with her the Saturday before. So, you never know......

Still Here

    I know I'm very overdue to post again. August was very busy for us getting ready for Marc and Hannah's wedding. So basically Mom got her shower twice a week and we filled in with meals here and there for the freezer.

  So even though things got done my mind has been really tied up with other things. The wedding is over and they are on their honeymoon enjoying life.....Marc told us to leave them alone and said he planned to throw his phone in the ocean. So, in spite of the fact that home seems very empty with life busy as it is I managed to keep my nose out of their business, until last night I thought surely we should know they are still alive so I sent him a private message on FB. Just a smile with a question mark. I got a thumbs up back so now I'm happy :)

  I have been up to my ears in canning as well. 30 qt. of Green Beans on Tues. plus 17 jars of Salsa. Today we did 24 jars of Salsa and tomorrow we will do sauce for Anna and I both. I love fall when it comes to rain with the perfect cool temperature and then I love the Pumpkin Pies, Pumpkin Cheesecake Bread and Apple Pies and COFFEE!

   Fall is beautiful. But I really don't like October anymore. The sun shines warm on the South side of the house in the afternoon and the Box Elder bugs, Asian Beetles and Wasps come out in droves and congregate there. So while I love September I dread October. It seems like Summer takes it's last breath and tries hard to stay, and calls all the bugs for their last rendezvous before they die. 

                     Aunt Sue emailed a few pics of Mom and her brothers I want to share with you all.

                              Mom sorting through Grandma Kropf's things after she passed away.

                                                        Uncle Earl, Uncle Les and Mom

  


  Angie and I went to the folks this morning to give Mom her shower. Pop told us then that Mom had a bad night again last night. She didn't sleep well and he was awake quite a bit but fell asleep and when he woke up she was missing. He found her outside on the porch. She had fallen and couldn't get back up.

  After her shower Angie got her all dressed up in one of her best dresses. Trying to make her look like she used to. I tried very hard to comb her hair like she always did. She did look very good. But then it was hard on my Dad to see her looking "normal" when she isn't. EllaMae came down and took a picture of Mom all dressed up so as soon as she gets that emailed to me I will post it for you.

  After a talk with Darwin, we decided for a quick fix for Mom's wandering, we could just scoot their heavy couch in front of the living room door so that Mom can't get out that way. The other door is secure. That way Pop can at least get a good nights rest knowing that she cannot get out of the house. So this evening my boys and I ran over and took care of that. All doors secure. It's a good feeling. I am concerned about my Dad and how long he can hold up with the stress of caring for Mom.

  

Grandma's Diary

  Today was my day to stay with Mom. I was supposed to be there at 9:55 this morning so Pop could be at work by 10:00. He called me before I got left to tell me to bring Steve along because Mom had fallen and he needed help to get her up.

  She had gotten out of bed and tried to head out the door before she was dressed this morning. He called to her to stop and he must have startled her because she sat right down on the floor and couldn't get back up again without help. So when we got there he had her all ready with his easy up method and we got her up with no problems.

  She sat in her chair without resisting and I gave her something to eat and then she promptly fell asleep in her chair. While she slept I threw in a load of laundry and got busy making some freezer meals.

  At some point I remembered that I had found a couple old diaries of Grandma Kropf's written in 1936 & 1956. I wanted to read them and find out how Grandma ran her life. I always admired how Grandma managed to get so much done and always had a clean orderly home. I opted to read the one from 1956 because the earlier one is written in pencil and since I already was having a headache I decided to spare my eyes today.

  I found out that my Grandma was a very busy women. She managed to get so much done in a day and they went to town so often I couldn't believe it! And everyday she would say it's been a very nice day. I assume she was refering to the weather but then again...maybe not.

  She painted almost every room in her house that year in the Spring of 1956. They had 44 lambs and lost 4 of them. They raised 154 broilers. Some they sold as fryers and some they kept for eggs. They took the eggs to town to sell. She mentioned going to town to do their trading.....not sure what that meant. It was fun to read about the cows that had calves and the cows all had names but the only one I remember now was Daisy. She mentioned the horse that had a colt and Uncle Lester's cow that had a calf.

   Barbara made a Rag Doll. I wonder which one that was. I always loved Grandma's dolls. Grandma always did laundry on Monday and Barbara ironed. They did Friday work and Saturday work. She didn't give a lot of detail of what that consisted of, but she scrubbed and waxed floors a lot more than I do. She mentioned making Potato Salad, Pies, Cookies and Cakes.

  Uncle Earl turned 5 years old that summer. Several times she mentioned someone who came to play with him I think one of them was named Paul but not sure if I'm remembering right. They had a lot of friends who dropped by and they went visiting often. I envy them all of their friends, it sounds like fun to have friends drop by like that. These visits often included Ice Cream and Popcorn.

   Grandpa had trouble with his back that Spring and so my parents came and my Dad planted his corn for him. He had a bad flu that year too and the kids all had the Mumps. Including Barbara and Earl. But Earl only had them on one side. She took the Doctor 6 dressed chickens. Not sure if that was appreciation or payment.

  I don't keep Diaries like Grandma did. I get way too bored with mundane everyday details. But I wondered how would my diary look if I did?  So let's see...What did I do today? If I was Grandma it would look like this.......

  Went to take care of Mom today. Did some laundry and made meals for the freezer (only she would call it a Locker) I made Chicken and Rice, Meatloaf and Corn, Chickenetti and mixed veggies, and some cornmeal Muffins using a White cakemix and a Cornbread mix. They were very good. Pop came back home at 2:00pm. Steve came and picked me up and then we and the kids ran to Richland Center (opps! I go to town too!) Went to Goodwill to look for a vest for Steve but ended up getting belts for the boys instead. When I got back home I took a nap.( Grandma never recorded doing that, She was a wonder woman :) ) Jay Kauffman came over to help Steve look at what's wrong with the Lawn Mower. It will need a new part. Then Steve and Jay had coffee. the kids and I cleaned up the house and then I cooked up the Tomatoes that had to be done.After supper of PBJ's and some Greek Yogurt I headed back to Mom's to help with her shower. Now I cleaned the kitchen and canned the Tomatos and wrote a blog post.


  If any of you family can add info to what you remember about 1956....please remember you can comment on these posts. I would love to hear your memories!

Once In A While a Word Comes Out

   My Mom called me on the phone early this morning. It was amazing. She sounded so normal. Every word came out perfectly. It's strange I can't even remember what she said, but I remember that her voice sounded so normal and there was no stuttering or problems with choice of words....... Then I woke up and realized I was dreaming.

  I miss talking to my Mom. It's been a long time. The dream was so vivid and beautiful.

  Angie and I discovered that Mom does get a word out now and then though. On Saturday we were there to give her a shower. On impulse I asked her.
   "Mom, can you see me?"
 She looked intently at me with her blue eyes and kind of nodded her head. I was encouraged by her response so I asked her another question.
   "Mom, what color is my shirt?"
Angie and I were both amazed, shocked and delighted when she responded with one word.
   " Red."
We cheered so loud that my Dad came to check on us to see if everything was alright!



   Some of you might be interested in seeing what kind of shower chair we use for Mom. Giving Mom a bath was nigh to impossible before my sis-in-law Eunice found this chair. This chair has turned bathing Mom from a dreaded nightmare to a smooth operation. I definitely recommend it. The chair itself slides into and out of the tub with ease. Even when your dealing with a heavy person. I like that we chose the extra long one. This one also has a swivel option that we never use. We could have gotten the shorter version and then used the swivel to get her out of the tub. But I prefer to just slide her out.

Just so you know this is an affiliate link. Amazon pays me a small commission for advertising their product, cost to you stays the same.When you click on the picture you will be taken directly to Amazon.

The legs on the shower chair are adjustable. With our situation the inside of the bathtub was so high that when we adjusted the outside legs to make it level it ended up being a little high for Mom so we use a footstool similar to this one to help her get on. It makes her much more comfortable and safe.

Uncle Les Remembers

                                            
I got a call one day from Uncle Lester. He had written a little story about school days with Mom.

                                                WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL

      We lived 1 mile east then ½ mile north.  We always walked home with the neighbor kids for that ½ mile.   They lived  west 1 mile, so we walked with them that ½ mile to the crossroad.  They went west 1 mile and we went east 1 mile. 

        Jim was Gins age, one was my age, and there were about 5 of them.

        Anyway, Jim always picked on Gin (typical boy, you know).

         One afternoon we were walking home, Merlin and I were walking in front.  I heard them going at it back there (that was kinda normal, I thought),  then it became more intense so I looked back and she had both hands on him and she gave him a big push right toward the ditch and he went a rolling right down to the bottom of the ditch.  He was a little embarrassed but he never bothered her after that.  They were still friends but he had more respect for her.

Back Again

  I know it's been awhile since I've been here. Mom has been pretty much the same. She has still been escaping my Dad now and then.

  There is an Amish Haystack supper every fall for the Amish School. The folks have always liked to go there. Mom always liked their pie. I thought forsure Pop would give that up this year,but he didn't, he took Mom along and they ate in the van. But then from there he went to see an Amishman that he has known for years. While he was there Mom left the van and wandered into the yard and fell. So he had to get help from the Amish family to get her up again.

  Tonight Mom seemed tired. She sat leaning toward her right side in her chair. When we gave her shower she did the same thing, leaned over toward her right side. I was afraid she would fall off the shower chair. But we made it. She took a lot of support walking to her room. I felt like we halfway carried her. So, not sure what is up with her. Pop doesn't take her to church anymore. We will see how she is tomorrow.

Memories and Current Events

                          




     I found this jewel of a picture last week when I was going through old photos in search of pictures for our son Marc's wedding.

    Aren't they beautiful? This picture was taken the summer Jeff spent with us. He was probably 16 then. I don't remember for sure, but Jeff was like a brother. We had a great summer and he and my parents got along very well.

  Mom is so young there, so happy and beautiful! So neat and orderly in appearance. Just look at her hair! Every lock of it in place!

  Today my Dad called me, he was doing chores at Darwin's house and he had taken Mom with him and told her to stay in the van. While he was doing chores Mom exited the van and when he got back she was GONE!

  He said he frantically looked everywhere. But couldn't find her. He checked the house, shop and everywhere. When he came back to the van a second time he found her on the ground beside the van. Somehow she had been hidden from his view and tried to get back to the van and fell. So he called me to help get her back up.

  I wasn't sure how it would go because usually the guys do that., but I grabbed my half grown boys and we buzzed over there. When I got there she was laying on the grass, thankfully in the shade. It was very hard to see her laying there. But I helped her sit up and while Dad went to the shop after a board I just sat down with her and talked to her. At first she looked scared but then she lightened up and smiled a little.

  So Pop brought the board.( He's an expert at this) He had her lay down on her side again and we got the board under her and then while Dad and I supported Mom, my two boys lifted the board and she was on her feet.

  She went home meek as a lamb and unscathed by the whole event.

Cast Your Bread Upon the Waters

Cast your bread upon the waters,
    for you will find it after many days. Ecc 11:1


   Mom always loved children. She had a still birth that I think she never really got over. In her heart she still had a longing for that child. She didn't talk about it a lot but it resurfaced now and then and I could tell it still felt like a loss to her.

  After she lost Daryl, enough years passed that she thought she wouldn't have more children. It was then that her and Dad started talking about adoption. That's when Angie came into our lives. 

   I wasn't in the picture yet when they adopted Angie, but they tell me she was a very cute little 3 year old with lots of blonde curls. She was very bright, talked a lot and learned PA. Dutch so fast that she talked to her Social worker in Dutch when she came back for a visit.

  I know when Mom answered the yearning in her heart for another child through adoption, she never thought of it as "casting her bread on the water", but when I see what Angie does for Mom today I can't help but think about that.

  Mom loves Angie. She always gets a huge smile on her face when Angie comes in to help with her shower. She loves Angie's food. I think she equates Angie with Peanut Butter Pie and Cinnamon Rolls. Angie comes in there with her hearty laugh, gives her a huge hug and says, "Mom I love you."

  Mom doesn't receive back only the blessing of Angie herself but also from Angie's daughter Kristin. I delight to see the love poured out on Grandma from Kristin coming in and keeping the house clean, doing her laundry, always with a cheerful attitude and that classic big hug and "I love you Grandma" before she leaves again. 

  So love given has been love multiplied and Mom is reaping the rewards......who could ask for better than that? Once again God's word is proven true. Even though Mom herself can't rationalize that out. I can, and it makes me happy!

  

Link to My Other Blog

I was thinking one day about the fine print in the Bible. I debated where to post it, but I didn't feel like it really fit here. It you want to read it I posted it on my other blog.


 http://songatdaybreak.blogspot.com/2015/07/reading-fine-print.html

Seeing Beauty Where You Find It

   When I got out of the car at Dad's house this past week, this is the first thing I saw. The rain had just washed those little purple faces.  My Dad takes care of his flowers as well as he does Mom.

  We took a kitten along for Mom to enjoy. I took a few pictures of her with the kitty, her hair wasn't done yet. But who can tell an old person with Dementia that she has to wait to hold a kitty till she gets her hair done. Here she is.....

                 She liked the kitten. I'm not sure the kitty liked her the whole time but Mom loved her.

This Past Week

    I took a short dash up to Matt and Kate's house this past week from Wednesday until Saturday morning. They are the directors for Vacation Bible School at their church. So I took the kids up for that.

    Ella Mae and Emma stepped in and did Grandma's shower for us on Wednesday.

   I was back on Saturday in time to do Mom's shower with Angie. She seemed very happy and easy going . Dad ran for some groceries while I stayed with Mom.

 Donna stayed with Mom in the morning while Dad was at work. He actually took her along at 10am and then Donna picked her up at 11am. According to Donna's FB report, things went well. Mom was cooperative and decided to be a good girl.

   Mom seems to know people so far. While I was up north I saw Daria Newenswander.  I got a picture of her and her baby so I could show mom. Mom didn't know her, which I wasn't surprised about, but when I told her that Daria is Carrie's girl, her face lit up and she remembered Carrie.

  Steve was with me at the folks house one day recently. Just nicely sitting on the couch, when Mom started crying. When I asked her what was wrong she got this distressed look on her face and pointed at him. So I don't know what he triggered in her mind.

  Pop took Mom with him to an Amish place this past week. He left her sitting in the van and told her to stay there. When he got back to the van she was missing....again....(he hasn't learned yet) He found her in the house. It is so uncharacteristic of Mom to go into a strangers house. She would never have done that before. Who knows, maybe she thought she had to go to the bathroom.

Stayin' with Mom

  Today was my day to stay with Mom while my Dad worked at his recycling job. Mom sat in her chair and slept most of the morning. I took Merry along because her and Mom always get along well and it helps the time go faster for Mom and she doesn't miss my Dad so much.

  Mom was in a mellow mood today. She stays in her chair for hours and doesn't make much trouble. At least not today. She wasn't in a throwing mood today like she has been sometimes.

  On Wed. when we were there for her shower. Angie had left and I stayed a little while because Pop wanted to run to town for coffee. Merry was with me that time too and she wanted some ice cream so I thought maybe Mom wants some too. I noticed a large shake sitting on the counter when I got there and it still felt cool to the touch I figured it must be Mom's so I gave it to her and she very nicely drank it down. Bout that time my Dad comes home and I asked if the Shake was mom's. He said yes it was. He had given it to her earlier and she just wanted to throw it on the floor so he took it away.

  Mom wasn't very happy about her shower on Friday.After we got her in the tub she looked at me with this very dark look and shook her head vigorously. Then when I reached out to help her undress my arm went across her mouth and she tried to bite me. That was the second time that happened. I am getting a little wiser about letting my flesh come in contact with her mouth.

  Today while I was there I read some of what she wrote about her life. It is very interesting. She was just a kid yet when my dad wrote to her for the first time. She said she showed the letter to her parents and asked them what they think and they said she could do whatever she wanted about it. I was nearly freaking out. I can't imagine saying that to my 16 year old daughter. I'd probably say you can tell him anything you want as long as it is NO!

  But I am impressed....that same young boy is the man who says he will take care of her till he drops.

Till I Drop

I wished for a Smart Phone again today....

 It rained, so the library seemed like a good option. I couldn't really send my noisy offspring out in the rain.

   When we drove up to the library I saw a van that looked like Grandpas. Sure enough, that's who it was. Guess who was sitting in the van?  Yeah You got it! Mom! She saw me too. So I went to see her. But my Dad had locked the doors before he went in and when I got there it appeared like she couldn't remember how to unlock so I just waved at her and went in. She had a huge grin and a 32 oz.Coke.

    Not long after Isaiah says, "Mom, Grandma wandered in here."
Sure enough, there she was clutching her pop and grinning with her characteristic big eye look. I went over and grabbed her hand and took her back to her van. About that time my Dad came out and took her home.

   We have had some concern about Mom's care being too much for my Dad, so we asked him about it this week. His reply was, "I will take care of Mom until I drop."

 I would love to have a picture for you of the library episode, But my Dumb Phone just don't cut it.

The Super 8 Encounter

  We were on our way down to Illinois to load up with books again and to attend Staff Meeting. We don't usually get a motel on our way , but this time we did because it was better than running all the way home and then backtracking the next morning. Steve and I had spent the day filling bookshelves in S. Milwaukee.

  When we left our Motel room, Steve said, "Lets just go to McDonald's, the kitchen is full here this morning."
  I said, "Well, but let's at least get coffee here. I was thinking of saving food money for Choice Books.
He said,"That's fine." and so we walked in. I made it to the coffee before he did, and here's the difference between the male and female brain. He's a hunter, he walks in, shoots it, and drags it home.

  I'm a different story. I have to deliberate. Do I want straight coffee or do I want cream? Should I put in Hot Chocolate mix and make it Cappuccino? Maybe I should just get OJ too. Steve was in a hurry, he got his coffee and headed out.I decided on OJ and Cappuccino.

   I knew Steve was in a hurry so I was under pressure to get going. I was also emotionally stressed because of trying to work out some details about Mom's care etc....I had just finished mixing the Cappo with those flimsy little straws. It wasn't mixing too well. Because of my hurry, I tried to put on the lid with my left hand while my right hand was occupied with my OJ.

  Something went horribly wrong and the whole Styrofoam cup flattened under my hand and flooded the counter with hot Chocolate Coffee. I groaned and glanced around for napkins hoping my whole mess would go unnoticed. I was halfway through when a young man approached me and asked.

  "Are you Amish?"
I groaned on the inside. "No, I'm not Amish." I answered, still feverishly sopping up my mess.
  "Well, whats that thing about on your head?" He ventured

  I looked at him squarely, for the first time taking my eyes from the mess, and kind of absently noticed that he was a special needs youth. At the time it didn't really soak in though.
  "Its a Prayer Covering and I'm not the only person in the world that does it." I felt like I was almost snapping at him. Which isn't my normal personality at all.

   "Oh, I'm sorry." He said, backing off
  I immediately felt bad and softened my heart, "No, it's OK, I don't mind if you ask.

  At that point I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

  Tonight I'm a little shocked at myself. Where was the sweet person who shines for Jesus? Why was I irked because someone took me for Amish? I can't help feeling sorry for the young man. I hope no one else bit his head off that day.

  But I wonder...how many times when we encounter someone who isn't really kind....do we think what in the world is wrong with that person? Maybe in reality they are not dealing well with the pressures of life.

God is Good, All The Time

   There is a lot of beauty in this world that displays God's signature. There are a lot of painful things as well. Sometimes we  humans are tempted to wonder why God allows the ugly, the hurts and the trauma.

   I don't know that I have all the answers, but one thing I do know is, I have tasted of the Lord and found that he is good. He is my shield, my strength, my peace, my joy, my salvation, the lifter up of my head.

  The real guilty culprit is the devil. He's the one that drives wedges, causes disagreements, turns hearts angry and cold. He is the accuser, The one who tears apart and divides.

  So why do I think God is good? In the middle of seeing my Mom lose her mind, doing things she would be embarrassed about today if she only knew. I believe God is good because he will have the last word in this conflict. The Bible says the last enemy to be destroyed is death. What a great day that will be! So many people look for the fountain of youth in the wrong place.

  Everything we are looking for is found in Christ. Do a word study for yourself. Take your Bible and look up the word sanctified and see what God has to say about those who put their trust in him.

  Sometimes when I face conflict I find it hard to respond in a right way. Usually I put a hold on my emotions and do nothing or little. Because I know there is no good thing in myself. If I wait long enough then God begins to work his work in me, and most of the time he diffuses it before I make a total fool of myself. I have done that already but I didn't like the end result. I like God's way much better.

  So along with the Sweet Singer of Israel I pray that the beauty of Christ could be seen in me as well as in his beautiful creation. Let his signature be on my heart.

Mom Was Happy Tonight

   I know I have not been here for a week. I am painfully, acutely aware...

But now I am here and I hope you are too.....

   Angie and I went over to do Mom's shower this evening. She was happy to see us and full of smiles. One thing that is really cool about Mom since her Dementia is she is so free with her hugs. Mom was always kind of reserved with her emotions. Oh, I remember lots of hugs when I was little but as we got older there wasn't as many. Now we get all we need, and she gets them right back!

                                                           

                          Angie gets a hug tonight after Mom's shower, before I got her hair done.

   Sometimes I wonder if I can really remember my Mom as she was when she was normal. Sometimes in my dreams she talks to me. I love that. Sometimes I can almost remember the sound of her voice. I cherish the moments today though. Angie and I have many precious times with Mom.

     Someday....Someday.....things will be different. Someday Mom will be young again, in that land that is fairer than day. Then we will hear hear her voice and her laughter again.


 Tonight while we showered Mom, Pop left for awhile so we stayed with Mom and while he was gone, we spent the time listening to The Chuck Wagon Gang on Youtube. Mom used to enjoy them a lot.

                                                       Here she is, listening to the songs

                                                             
                        
                                                        

Happy Meals

Today Phebe, Ella Mae, Janessa, Jessalyn and I made meals for the freezer at Mom's house. It was Angie's idea. She felt like the folks weren't eating good enough and she came up with the plan. But she had to work today so the girls and I tackled it. We started around 9:30 and were done by 11:30. It all went very well and they have roughly 60 meals in the freezer now.

 Ella Mae, trying to avoid the camera

 Phebe filled in the Veggie's first and put them in the freezer while we were cooking the Chicken, Meatloaf and getting potatoes cooking for Mashed Potatoes and Scalloped Potatoes. We also did Lasagna and Chickenetti.

 Making Lasagna

 Garlic Bread to go with the Lasagna meals

 Labeling containers and putting it all together

Mashed Potatoes and Veggies, waiting for Boneless Chicken thighs and Meatloaf to cool off enough to be put in.