Sunday, June 28, 2015

Mom Goes To Walmart

    On Friday Angie and I went to shower Mom a day early because I was leaving that evening to go camping. While we were there, Pop told us about Mom's latest escapade.

   She had been doing ok with sitting in the van when he went to town. She likes to go away and so does he. On Friday he took her along to Walmart and left her sitting in the van. He told her he wouldn't be long and that she needs to stay on the van. When he got back out, Mom was gone. He told me he had never been so scared in his life. He looked all around, asked the greeter if he had seen her. And he said he had not.

  Finally he thought maybe she was in the bathroom, so he asked a lady to check for her. Sure enough, there she was! He waited on her for awhile and then decided that she could sit there all day. So he asked the lady there to watch the door while he went in there to get his wife. So that's what he did. He got her out and safe back home again.

  He realizes now that he can't trust her to stay in the van anymore.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Pretty Much the Same

  Mom has been pretty predictable this week. Sometimes she smiles and is happy, other times she thinks of something that makes her cry. Whenever I get there and give her my hand then she wants a hug and a hug makes her cry.

  Angie did some research this week. About 6 years ago or so.( I can't remember the specific date. I will update this when I find out), anyway, Mom had a treadmill that threw her off and broke her shoulder. She was put on some high powered Narcotic for way too long. The research Angie did showed that Dementia was one of the top 6 side effects of the drug she was taking.

  I remember that at some point maybe even a year later we found out Mom was still taking these pain killers and I called my Dad and told him she really needs to get off. He just took her off, cold turkey. I figured he was going to have real issues with Mom, but she didn't seem to have any problems whatsoever.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Father's Day

   I talked a little about my Dad in my last post, not thinking about Father's Day coming up. I am that way. things happen and I'm almost always about too late, I just manage to get in under the wire. Come to think of it, my Dad was always like that! :)

  What I appreciate about my Dad....

  Most currently I appreciate that he takes responsibility to care for Mom. It makes our job so much easier. I appreciate his fortitude. I know it really bothered him when she made the big turn from being pretty much ok to drastically being out of her right mind almost overnight. At first he really reeled under it. But now he has adjusted pretty much although he still has times that he struggles with it. For the most part he rolls with the punches. He is patient, kind and caring.

  A few years back when he was more able he was at us kids beck and call. Whenever we needed help, who did we call on? Whether it was an errand to pick something up, butchering, helping with peeling peaches to can or snapping beans or on a corn day. He never said no. You just knew that if Dad possibly could make it, he would. Sometimes he even changed his own plans in favor for ours. God bless the man!

  My favorite memories of Dad at home were when he would take us busting drifts after a snowstorm. He would hit those drifts with his car and snow would fly over the windshield. Mom would squeal and us kids would shout, grinning from ear to ear. I learned to love thunderstorms from him. I'm not sure why. I can't remember that he ever told me not to be afraid of them. It was simply his own attitude. He was always so calm. As a youngster I thought my Dad wasn't afraid of anything. As long as he was around I didn't think to fear anything.

  I remember he was a very hard working man. He never had much money but he worked hard. He tried a lot of things. I hated when he drove truck, because it took him away. Then when there was a breakdown it just took longer for him to get home. He tried very hard. When he logged his own land he took the logs by tractor and wagon to the nearest sawmill.

  What I like the most about him right now is his love for the Lord and his ability to think outside the box. His faith in Christ has grown tremendously in the past several years and when he departs this life I will have no questions about where he is, because he has already given me the answers.

  I'm thankful to God for the two men in my life that have given me security and value, My Dad and my husband. God bless them both!

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Still Useful for God's Purpose

   I didn't make it to Mom's house yesterday because we decided to do her shower this evening just before she goes to bed.

  Yesterday I went out to take pictures of my flowers because they are so brilliant and beautiful right now.

I have been thinking about Mom and how her life right now seems so....I don't know the word....I don't want to say, unfruitful or any of those bad, unkind, unappreciative words. Because I love my Mom and I honor God in that he knows what plans he has for life and death for all of us. That said, I just want to say I am human and sometimes I think too much. 

  Since Sunday God has been giving me a lot of checks and balances in my thoughts. At church an elderly lady got up during testimony time and said that she had been asking God why she is still on earth. She can't do anymore what she used to be able to. She felt God was telling her to just do what she still can.

  Then a friend shared an article on FB that someone had written about their own Mother's Dementia. I was a little ashamed after reading the article because I felt like he had a much better outlook than I have been tempted to have at times.

  Last evening we watched a movie called THE LETTER WRITER, about an old man in a rest home, he spent his time going through the phone book and randomly selecting people to send encouraging letters to. He made a huge difference in the life of one struggling teenager.

  When I took the picture of my flower bed I stood back to admire my flowers. I really like the old broken chair in there, and then it struck me. Old things are still valuable and useful. That old chair can't be used for sitting on anymore, but it looks so beautiful holding an old bucket with flowers in it....and the old bucket? Well it don't hold water anymore, doesn't even sit flat anymore. But is it useful? Absolutely! It's beautiful in it's own way for what it is useful for right now.

  And so is my Mom.


  Mom was very pleasant and happy when we were there for her shower this evening. Angie and I sat with them and visited with my Dad awhile. He is a very wise man. I love to hear what he has to say. One thing I always liked about my Dad when I was a teenager was he always made me feel like I was worth listening to. Now it's my turn.

Monday, June 15, 2015

So now I'm Back

   I missed my post over the weekend because I was gone. Mom missed out on her shower because I wasn't home. Sometimes it's amazing how ....Duh....I can be. I really didn't think. Anyway I have decided that I need to think ahead and make sure she gets her shower before I go away.

  So Angie and I went tonight to shower her so she is clean again.... Thank God!......She was in a really fun mood after she had her shower. I was brushing her hair and had her hairclips in her lap. She picks them up and throws them on the floor. Angie picked them up and brought them back to her, she grabs Angie by the skirt and pulls then she twisted her skirt. We were laughing at her and she got this big sneaky grin on her face. My Dad made her stop and rescued Angie, but then she threw Klenexes and anything she could get her hands on.

  For those of you who check back often for updates, I will try to post on Wednesdays and Saturdays. If anything unusual happens in between I will most likely post then.

Mom did have a really weird thing happen last Thursday. She had a really slow pulse and seemed pretty lethargic. She usually grips my hand really hard but she was just limp in her grip. I went to check on her in the evening and she seemed much better and has been fine since.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Mama

   It's amazing how Mothers work. They still love you even when their mind don't work quite right. I have a very sweet mom.





 Angie made a very nice lunch for the folks today. Mom has been losing weight, which is ok to some extent but Angie was concerned that they aren't eating right, so she made them some good stuff and Mom said it was very good. In her own way.

                                     This picture was taken on Saturday when Mom was so sad.



 Pop called tonight and asked for two of my boys to come over because Mom had fallen and needed help to get back up. So I hopped in and went with them. Pop used his classic "Mom lifter" a leaf out of the dining room table. He gets it under her and then gets the boys to lift. It works great, lifts her right up and sets her on her feet. Easy as 1.2.3.

 

Monday, June 8, 2015

Just Imagine If you couldn't talk

 Sometimes it really bothers me. what if Mom knows more than I think? What if she understands more then we know? Can you imagine what it would be like if you know you have to go to the bathroom but couldn't say so. I know at home it is not an issue because she can get up on her own and go and she pretty much only goes on her own at night which I can't explain. But if you are away from home and you can't say, "I gotta go." Well then what? I guess we might cry out of frustration.

  On Saturday, Angie had Mom in the morning, then I stopped to pick them up to take Mom home for her shower. Angie came out of the house when I got there and said, "She won't go anywhere." So I went in and asked her if she wanted to go away with me. She smiled and eagerly got up. So out we went. On the way over she took a disposable coffee cup out of my trashcan in the van and fired it at Angie in the backseat.

  She kept looking out the window and getting agitated, the closer we got to home she started crying. It is so impossible to know why. I took her to the bathroom when we got there, then she went to her bed and laid there and sobbed. I gave her hugs and tried to comfort her. After awhile she sat up and was ready for her chair, but even out there she still cried. I gave her a magazine to look at and she threw it behind Pop's chair. It must have made her feel a little better because she went and picked up every little piece of mail and tablet off the stand beside her and gave it a fling.

  It was almost time for Pop to get home from his recycling job, so I thought she might like to sit out on the porch. We weren't out there long until he was back. She got up to meet him and gave him a looooong hug. Like she wasn't gonna let go. He took her back to the glider and sat down with her. She clung to his hand. I thought he was very wise. He reassured Angie that it was nothing she did that upset Mom. He said she just gets this way because she happens to think about something that upsets her and she can't communicate. He said she gets that way with him too. So I asked Mom if she gets upset and throws things because she can't talk and she nodded her head "Yes."

  We decided to wait for her shower until evening and she was in a much better frame of mind then. Angie and I have started singing to Mom when we shower her. It just happened spontaneously not intentionally to please Mom, but she seems to love it. I told Angie we are the "Bathroom duet" instead of the "Barbershop Quartet".

  Somehow we have to figure out how to think like Mom. If we only knew what her needs are it would be easier.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Beatitudes For Aging

 Blessed are they who understand
My faltering steps and palsied hand.

Blessed are they who know my ears today
must strain to catch the words they say.

Blessed are they who see that my eyes
are dim and my wits are slow.

Blessed are they who looked away
 when I spilt my cup of tea today.

Blessed are they with a cheery smile
  who stop to chat for a while.

Blessed are they who never say,
"You've told that story twice today.

Blessed are they who know the ways
  to bring back memories of yesterdays.

Blessed are they who make it known
  that I am loved, respected and not alone.

Blessed are they who know I'm at loss
to find the strength to carry my cross.

Blessed are they who ease the days
on my journey Home in loving ways.

                       ~ Author unknown

I found this poem when I was going through things at my Mom's house one day.


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Happy Days are Here Again

    I have been to Mom's house several times the last few days. The last three years I have had a small garden plot there, and it was time to plant.

  I am happy to report that for now things have settled down and Mom is happy again. She greeted me with her normal, happy smile. It is so good to see again.

  A couple days ago she managed to get the front door open. It had been secured with a childproof knob and shipping tape. She peeled it all off and opened it up and out she went, barefoot. Dad followed her out and she went to the van, which is her way of saying, "I want to go somewhere." So he took her to town.....barefoot.

 Another time this week they were up at Darwins and Pop asked her what she wants to do and she took a pen and paper and distinctly wrote "McDonalds" Those are some great moments of clarity.