Acceptance

   The first week of mom being at the nursing home were hard. I kept feeling guilty, surely I should have been able to find a way to keep her at home.

   Even though I knew I wasn't mentally able to handle the 8 weeks of care while Angie was gone on vacation. Not physically either for that matter.
 
  I watch with wonder and envy at the ease with which they move mom at the home using the lift.

   This week has been good. Every time I went to visit Dad has been relaxed and happy. Mom seems a little brighter and knew who we were. She indicated that by looking at each one of us when Pop asked her to point us out.

My dad says she's better off at the home because she gets more constant interaction, she goes to therapy each day and gets moved oftener. He doesn't think she is unhappy there.

I'm feeling much better about it too. I'm not really surprised though that I had to go on an antibiotic for Lyme again. Too much stress sometimes brings it back.

   Although my doctor doesn't really agree, he says I get it again because I got a fresh tick bite. I'm not going to argue with him. Maybe he's right. I know the symptoms very well. I go from feeling energetic and fine to dragging with fatigue, feeling like I'm walking around carrying a hundred pound burden on the back of my neck, my muscles tense with pain and I can barely drag my feet from point A to point B.

   My brain feels like a radio station that just can't be tuned clearly enough for the music to be heard, and I feel like my judgement is a wee bit off.

  I'm thankful all this waited to happen until mom was safely at the nursing home.
  

  
  
  

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