When Did Mom's Dementia begin

 Who can tell when it all started.....That first little degeneration of brain cells? Maybe decades ago. I am becoming very aware of every time I myself fumble with a word, or try to find the right one out of the alphabetical list in my mind. Is this dreaded Dementia beginning its work in my own brain? Will my children one day be walking these very steps with me that I take with my Mother? I pray not.

  It is heart rending, and it makes me cry.....

  She seems to be caught in a middle place between reality and no man's land. She seems to know that something is wrong with her, but she doesn't know what. She looks at me with desperation in her eyes. But she cannot talk. She can't say what she feels. She is trapped inside of herself.

In 2012 she was at a friend's house and she had a fall. She could still talk back then and she told us she thought she had a stroke. (An MRI has since ruled out a stroke) She very gradually began to lose her ability to speak. At first she just struggled with word choice and getting a word to come out right. But it continued to get worse.

In January of 2013, my Dad got very sick with Influenza. He had a previous bout with Bowel Cancer and though he had been clear for many years, his bowels were very fragile due to multiple surgeries and scar tissue, hernias, etc. He ended up in Mayo with numerous visits to the operating room. We expected to lose him then. But he miraculously pulled through. The Dr.s had told us we would have to be giving him around the clock care. Now he is giving Mom around the clock care.

After 60+ years of marriage. My parents are still very much in love!

In the above picture, Mom could still talk pretty well. We wondered why but never thought she would go completely mute.

   Life goes on, we go about our business, and one day we realize that when we spend an evening with my parents,  Mom isn't talking. She sits and smiles and laughs at all the jokes, but doesn't talk. She still is very with it. But doesn't communicate. I miss it. I wish I knew what she thinks about anything. I want to sit down and visit with her. Sometimes she calls me on the phone and it's frustrating because her speech is garbled and I don't know what she is saying. So I talk to her. I tell her everything I did that day and everything I plan to do. Sometimes she gets one word out. It usually is, "come." I don't always go. Now I'm sorry. Now I wish I would have run to her every time.

  My Dad hopes that she will get better and gives her Brain Food. But nothing gets better. We get a call from him one Sunday.

 "There's something wrong with Mom. She just won't sit still." 

We go to see. She swings her feet and turns her head from side to side in constant motion. Her hair is a mess. Personal hygiene is a thing of the past. My Mom who always had neat hair and clean appearance, is looking messy and unkempt and the worse thing is she doesn't even care. But she seems happy all the time and is constantly smiling.

  We took her to the Doctor. We ended up doing an MRI. The results that came back said she doesn't have any indication of having had a stroke. But they diagnosed her with Dementia.