Sometimes it really bothers me. what if Mom knows more than I think? What if she understands more then we know? Can you imagine what it would be like if you know you have to go to the bathroom but couldn't say so. I know at home it is not an issue because she can get up on her own and go and she pretty much only goes on her own at night which I can't explain. But if you are away from home and you can't say, "I gotta go." Well then what? I guess we might cry out of frustration.
On Saturday, Angie had Mom in the morning, then I stopped to pick them up to take Mom home for her shower. Angie came out of the house when I got there and said, "She won't go anywhere." So I went in and asked her if she wanted to go away with me. She smiled and eagerly got up. So out we went. On the way over she took a disposable coffee cup out of my trashcan in the van and fired it at Angie in the backseat.
She kept looking out the window and getting agitated, the closer we got to home she started crying. It is so impossible to know why. I took her to the bathroom when we got there, then she went to her bed and laid there and sobbed. I gave her hugs and tried to comfort her. After awhile she sat up and was ready for her chair, but even out there she still cried. I gave her a magazine to look at and she threw it behind Pop's chair. It must have made her feel a little better because she went and picked up every little piece of mail and tablet off the stand beside her and gave it a fling.
It was almost time for Pop to get home from his recycling job, so I thought she might like to sit out on the porch. We weren't out there long until he was back. She got up to meet him and gave him a looooong hug. Like she wasn't gonna let go. He took her back to the glider and sat down with her. She clung to his hand. I thought he was very wise. He reassured Angie that it was nothing she did that upset Mom. He said she just gets this way because she happens to think about something that upsets her and she can't communicate. He said she gets that way with him too. So I asked Mom if she gets upset and throws things because she can't talk and she nodded her head "Yes."
We decided to wait for her shower until evening and she was in a much better frame of mind then. Angie and I have started singing to Mom when we shower her. It just happened spontaneously not intentionally to please Mom, but she seems to love it. I told Angie we are the "Bathroom duet" instead of the "Barbershop Quartet".
Somehow we have to figure out how to think like Mom. If we only knew what her needs are it would be easier.
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