Another bend in the Road

                                             The view from my parent's house last evening

  Some of you might remember that I mentioned Mom having difficulty walking and that her one leg seemed like it wasn't working as well. On Wed. Dad called Darwin and said he needs an evaluation and help to know what to do because Mom wasn't walking good enough for him to be able to move her anymore.

  I was on the way home from being with Steve on his route for a couple days. I spent a little time with my family then ran over there to see how she was doing. By the time I got there Kristin and Dad had put her to bed, so there was nothing to do then but wait until morning to see how she did. Angie and I would go get her up then.

  So when we tried to get Mom up the next morning she protested in her non verbal way and I was thinking for sure we'd never get her out of there. But Angie knows more then me about personal care and she felt like we really needed to get her out. So we got her into a sitting position and from there got her on her feet with sheer muscle and will power. She stood there very uncertain, but between the three of us (Dad , Angie and me) we managed to get her to the bathroom and on the toilet.

  Angie and I cleaned her up and dressed her and got her to her chair. I combed her hair and made her as comfortable as possible. When we left she was sitting on her recliner, footrest up, throw on her lap, looking as sweet as a rose. When we came back in the evening she was still there, looking the same, not a hair out of place. I told my Dad she looked like she hadn't moved all day and he said she really didn't. She slept a lot.

  Today Dad is going to get a wheel chair and we are going to use that to move her since we feel like we are practically dragging her as it is now. And it is hard on our backs anyway. No sense putting our backs out.

  I like the picture of the sunset. It reminds me of my Mom's life. It looks dark here...but ahead there is a blaze of light. There is always hope beyond this life.

Roses For Mama

    I walked into my parents house last week to find Mom with her lap full of roses. She was sitting there with a satisfied look on her face. My Dad said she won't keep them in the vase. She takes them out and lays them in her lap. She had two red roses, two pink ones and a yellow one. I exclaimed over how beautiful they were and she smiled big. I told her I especially liked the yellow one and she grinned and pulled the yellow one out.

   Today Larita and Clifford stopped in to see the folks and so I ran over to see them. Mom looked happier than I have seen her for a long time. She always looks at me either sober or frowning, but then I have to realize whenever I show up I give her a shower, wash her hair or trim her nails. She might have reasons to frown at me.

  Darwin came down too then and she pointed at him and smiled. I have thought many times that she just doesn't know me anymore, but she seemed to be happy to see Darwin and Larita. So  maybe she isn't happy to see me because I make her do things she doesn't like. I trimmed her nails again yesterday and she practically sat on her right hand to keep me away from it. Even though I always assure her that I won't hurt her. And for the record I never have. Which is more than I can say for her since she bit me during a shower recently. Angie says that is normal for folks with dementia. Just keep your arm away from her teeth. Lol!

  Or it could be payback for all the times I didn't hold still as a kid in church........ or when SHE combed MY hair.

 She was in a good mood though the day she had her roses. I took her picture and she grinned and tried to hide behind a magazine.

With Mom Today

  This past week I have been with Mom almost every day because Kristin was sick. So Phebe and I got to do the cleaning and laundry over there.

  I went over again today. I have been noticing that Mom doesn't walk as well anymore. She favors her left side. I'm not sure if her hip is hurting or what is going on, but she seems uncertain with that side. It gets a little scarier to walk her by myself because I worry that one misstep could put her on the floor.

  I spent last Saturday with her. I gave her meatloaf, scalloped potatoes and applesauce for lunch. I sat her at the table to eat and when I had my back turned she got up and was back in her chair before I knew she had left the table. I was thankful she made it back alright, but she only ate a few bites.

  She is also much more sober. I can barely get a smile out of her. She just stares at me with disapproving looks. Even Merry didn't get her usual hugs and smiles last time she was there with me.

  Today when I got there she had on a very messy bib. Apparently Dad had given her a snack just before I got there. I noticed she seemed to be harboring something kind of down beside her. At first I didn't pay attention but when I looked closer I saw she had a coffee mug there. She had her hand inside the cup. There was less than 1/2 inch of coffee in it. She didn't want to hand it over when I asked for it, but later she willingly gave it to me.

  I know it's not going to get any easier from here. I am thankful that I cannot see around the bend and I continually remind myself that God only requires me to walk through today.

More Snow

  It's cold.....minus 5 and minus 8 have been normal around here this past week. That is really not that bad considering that normally we would be having 20 below right now. But since we have had a milder winter, we are turning into Pansies.........which brings up a thought....why do we call what we esteem wimpish behavior being a Pansy?

  I have never seen a braver flower. They bloom early in the spring and smile through a skiff of snow. Why don't we call wimpy people Day Lillies or Poppies? Both of those flowers are here today, gone tomorrow....it would make much more sense but if doesn't sound right. "You Day Lily" or "You Poppy" just don't pack the punch that "You Pansy" does.

  So, if you get called a Pansy, don't take offense. That's one tough little flower.

    It was my turn to stay with Mom on Sat. morning but Steve and I had gone to Illinois for more books on Friday and staff meeting ended up running later than usual. We had a LOT of books to unload into storage at home before Steve could leave on his route on Monday. So I called Galen and he kindly took my place.

  It was also Mom's day for a shower so Angie and I headed over to the folks by 8:30 that morning.  Mom was somewhat uncooperative. We basically had to dress her without any help from her. You know how hard it is to get a sleeve on an arm that isn't helping. It's a push and shove situation. My Dad said she wasn't walking quite as well either the past few days. So I'm not sure if she isn't feeling well or if she just doesn't like early showers.

  Last Tuesday when we were there for her shower, I walked in and looked her over and told her it was time to trim her nails again. She didn't like that. She frowned, shook her head "no" and gave me a push with her foot. But she did pretty well then. I had to reassure her quite a lot that I would not hurt her and she allowed me to trim them without trouble.

Snow Storms

   Our predicted snow storm wasn't quite as bad as they thought it would be. It was nice enough to satisfy my snow needs, but not the 8-12 inches that they warned us about. We had a cozy day anyway, cinnamon rolls, coffee and tonight Hot Chocolate.

    Last Monday I went with Steve to get books at Matemora again. On the way home around 5:00pm I got a call from Angie saying that my Dad had left Mom with her just before 2:00 and said he was going to Viroqua. He didn't give her a flight plan. Where he was headed or which direction. Soon after he left it started snowing. Thick and heavy. Dad is from the old school and never thinks about the need for a cell phone. He has one, but it usually is out of minutes. 

    So, Angie was worried. It was getting dark and no sign of Pop. I told her to call Darwin cause he might know where Pop was going, as in which Amish farm.I had visions of him landing in the ditch on some obscure back road that we wouldn't know how to find and then that's all the further I allowed my mind to go. I don't like activating stress hormones when there is nothing I can do to fix the problem. I didn't hear anything back after that, so I figured all must be well as no news is good news. I called her back later and she told me Pop had made it back. Like the tough old survivor he is. He said he saw some cars in the ditch, but he made it back! 

    Mom is still mostly the same. I still can't figure out how much she comprehends. I'm pretty sure she can't read anymore. I wish she would try to communicate more with at least a nod or a shake of the head.I know she still is happy to see us when we come. , and she loves kids. 

More Time With Mom

    I got a few pictures of Mom last time I was there for her shower. I'm always scratching my head for ideas about what Mom could do to make her days pass more interestingly. I gave her some beads and string at Christmas time. But that day she just took a handful of beads and kept them scrunched up in her hand. So I thought that was a lost cause. She does that sometimes. She can take a candy wrapper and hold it tightly in her hand through her whole shower and when we get her back in her chair I notice she still has it.

  I gave her the beads and string again when we had her settled back in her chair last time, she strung them on nicely and seemed to enjoy it. So I guess each day is different.

   Sometimes we have surprises when we go over to my parents house. Angie and I went later then usual one evening for Mom's shower. I usually leave my children at home when I go, with the exception of Merry, because she is good therapy for Mom. But a shower is not really visiting time. But I had a few beggars on this particular evening, so I decided ok, why not? They should go visit their Grandparents. Would you believe that evening I saw something I never saw before?

  Mom was sitting in her chair with a T shirt and her depend. That's all. Dad said he was going to put her to bed soon anyway. I grabbed a throw and tossed it over her, but it presented a problem. How do you make the trek across the Living room to the bathroom with a young teenage grandson in the room. I took one look at him and saw he had a magazine in front of his face, so I told Angie, " Let's just take her, as long as he stays behind that magazine, we"ll be alright."

  As we crossed the Living room Angie tells Mom, "Run."

 Would you believe she actually did? I couldn't believe my Mom could actually run! But run she did. With an expression on her face that was priceless. 

2016

  We have a new year.......

 I can't help but wonder what this new year will bring. I can't help but think of the quote by Anne of Green Gables, "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it." It's a favorite of mine. I suppose it could apply to a new year as well.

  It reminds me just a little bit of the promise of God that, "his mercies are new every morning"  or this one from Psalms 27:13,  I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

  Mom is much the same, Her toe has healed up nicely. I think it took about six weeks for her toenail to fall off on it's own. But it is looking great now.She usually sleeps well and stays in bed for the most part at night. She did get out and tried looking out the front door window last week, then ended up falling right there. My Dad said it was almost more like she just sat down. Darwin and some of the boys had to go down and get her back up in the early morning.

  She sleeps late. It amuses me a little when I think about all the times when I have had a sick child or maybe just an early riser and I wondered when I would ever get enough sleep again. Now here is Mom, she can sleep all she wants. Responsibility no longer rules her. Given the choice between the two, I'd rather lose my sleep and run the treadmill of life than be in Mom's situation. 

    It's winter in WI. I stepped out on the porch to get wood for the stove. If your eyes are good you can see my bare footprint in the fresh snow. It felt delicious!

  I love winter. I didn't always. I used to strongly dislike the cold and the endless wet coats, mittens and boots. But finally one day I was listening to my children complain about winter. I realized then that they were really never happy with the season. In the summer they wished to go sledding and in the winter they wished for summer. I thought this is really crazy. Why not be happy instead of always wishing for something you ain't got!

  So I made a decision right there. I was going to practice being content in whatever season I am in. So when it snowed I would always tell the kids how beautiful it was and how much I loved the whiteness covering everything out there. It really wasn't long until I really did love it. I love the snow storms. The warmth in the house and it gives me a grand excuse to bake something warm or make a pot of coffee and settle down with a book and a throw. I can hear the wind whipping around out there and sometimes if it's a little sleety, I can hear it on our tin roof or against the window. So very beautiful. I developed a sense of pride in being a Northern girl. 

 To me winter gives me time to slow down and not work so hard like in the summer especially in harvest time. I know we're still busy but it's not quite as intense. I noticed something happening at our house. As a general rule, we all like winter around here. I don't hear a lot of complaining anymore. It's amazing what counting blessings and having a positive attitude can do. Even Steve who was transplanted from the South has turned into a Northerner.