When Life Gives You Lemons

   Who doesn't like lemonade? That's what they tell you to do when you get lemons dumped into your life. Make lemonade. Oh well, it's probably good advice.

   My patience has been sorely tested lately with lawn equipment. We have had a lot of rain recently. Which is a God send for the garden. But the grass flourished as well and that's when the lawnmower decided to die.

   I decided at least I can go out and whip some weeds with the weedeater. I went out and pulled the starter string twice. It gave a promising firing sound but on the next pull I was left with a long string in my grip that wouldn't retract.

Oh bother! I ran the offensive machine down the road to my brother in law. He fixed it and returned it. I decided to try again. One yank and I stared in dismay at the long piece of string that refused to retract. AGAIN!

  Steve says run it in to the repair man. So I did. It took at least 3 days to get it back. They charged me 18.00. I took it home, eager to whip the weeds. Guess what? One pull on the string and I'm back to square one. AGAIN!

  I reluctantly ran the unruly machine back to the repair man again. He said he had replaced the spring but found he should have replaced a plastic flywheel of some sort. I picked it up the next day and brought it home and handed it over to my son to run. You can only imagine how sweet the music of that running machine sounded to my ear as weeds began dying like crazy out there.

  The very next day I sent my other son out to finish the job and I stretched out on the couch for a nap. I wasn't there long, just drifting off into sweet repose when my son burst in the door and shatters my sleep with the dreaded proclamation that the string once again refused to wind back in. AGAIN!

  I was tempted to be mad.....really. But God put his hand on me and told me to take a deep breath and wait. I said, "OK God, I'm giving that weedeater to you so I don't have to be bothered with it anymore."

   That took care of the anger. Tonight we had another thunder and lightning roaring downpour. I went out to retrieve God's weedeater that was still sitting where it had been left in the yard.

   I think I just found my recipe for lemonade.

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Whats up with Mom

 

                                  An old couple in miniature, sitting in the foyer at the nursing home.






   On Monday I went in to be with Dad in a meeting with Therapy and the Social worker at the nursing home. Therapy said they have done all they can with mom and she won't be getting any better than she is right now. Which means she won't be walking. They will only continue with therapy this week yet and then they are done.

  The social worker wanted to know what we are thinking about keeping mom there or taking her home. We know that we would need a lift if we took her home. They are using a standing lift at the home right now. Because she now has Medicaid they said she is welcome to stay there. We know that either way we will not make a decision until Angie gets back from her vacation.

   Dad realizes that it will take more man power than what we have to bring her home. I like the round the clock care that she is getting at the nursing home which is something we haven't been able to do at home. Even though Dad does a good job, one old man can't do what round the clock nursing can. Going twice a day to get her up and put her to bed like Angie and I were isn't really sufficient either.

  I understand now why Angie used to mutter under her breath about what the nursing home would be doing for her if she was there. Although I don't think any of us really wanted her to go there. All in all they have very nice people working at the home. I feel like Mom is being well cared for. I think they like her in there because she really is no trouble. She just sits quietly in her chair.

  When I got there on Monday morning she was sitting in her wheelchair looking a little droopy. She kept looking down and was holding a washcloth up to her face. The nurses had given it to her to wipe her face with.  I talked to her and tried to get some interaction going but she ignored me. Pop said I should give her the doll to hold, so I wrapped it in a blanket and gave it to her. She held it and snuggled it in her arms.

Acceptance

   The first week of mom being at the nursing home were hard. I kept feeling guilty, surely I should have been able to find a way to keep her at home.

   Even though I knew I wasn't mentally able to handle the 8 weeks of care while Angie was gone on vacation. Not physically either for that matter.
 
  I watch with wonder and envy at the ease with which they move mom at the home using the lift.

   This week has been good. Every time I went to visit Dad has been relaxed and happy. Mom seems a little brighter and knew who we were. She indicated that by looking at each one of us when Pop asked her to point us out.

My dad says she's better off at the home because she gets more constant interaction, she goes to therapy each day and gets moved oftener. He doesn't think she is unhappy there.

I'm feeling much better about it too. I'm not really surprised though that I had to go on an antibiotic for Lyme again. Too much stress sometimes brings it back.

   Although my doctor doesn't really agree, he says I get it again because I got a fresh tick bite. I'm not going to argue with him. Maybe he's right. I know the symptoms very well. I go from feeling energetic and fine to dragging with fatigue, feeling like I'm walking around carrying a hundred pound burden on the back of my neck, my muscles tense with pain and I can barely drag my feet from point A to point B.

   My brain feels like a radio station that just can't be tuned clearly enough for the music to be heard, and I feel like my judgement is a wee bit off.

  I'm thankful all this waited to happen until mom was safely at the nursing home.
  

  
  
  

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How Does Mom Feel about It?

   I wish I knew how mom is feeling about her nursing home stay. It is impossible to know. She does not show a lot of emotion. She will wince or frown if I touch a spot that hurts. But mostly she just looks at me with an uncomprehending stare.

  She seemed to like the "Ocean in a bottle" she turned it over and over trying to see the turtle. I though I got a picture of her with the bottle but it must be on my phone, so instead I posted pictures of my two new grandbabies!

Maybe a better title for this post would be, How do I feel about mom being in the nursing home. I mostly don't like it, but while we are on the subject, I don't like Dementia either.

Having mom at home is much better on the emotions. But there are some positives, at the nursing home she gets around the clock care and she goes to therapy everyday. I think Dad is adjusting too, but the first week was rough on him.

  Mom still responds well to kids. Even though she largely ignores me, she will still light up and smiles at the children.

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Ocean in a Bottle

  Yesterday when I went to see mom she was very agitated. Dad said she was grabbing things and making it hard to feed her.

  Later that day I was browsing on Pinterest and I found a recipe for calming bottles. They were using them for kids, but I thought it should work as well for a person with Dementia.

  So today Merry and I put one together for Grandma. I chose the "Ocean in a Bottle" because it sounded relaxing. And for a little special touch I bought the little Sea Turtle "Squirt" to put in the bottle. That way we can watch him swim.

  I bought everything I needed at The Dollar Tree. A bottle of sparkling water, to reuse for the bottle, veggie oil and the afore mentioned sea turtle.

It's a very simple process. Fill the empty bottle 1/3 full of water and 4 drops of blue food coloring, shake and fill the bottle the rest of the way with veggie oil. Last of all squeeze the sea turtle in. He comes attached to a rock but I easily twisted him off and discarded the rock.

Super glue the lid on so that it won't come off, and your done!

  Tomorrow I will see how Mom likes it.....

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Out of Rythm

  When you get used to a pattern in your life then changes feel really weird. We got home from vacation on Sunday evening, so this morning I went to the Nursing home to see Mom. She was very sober. She didn't lighten up at all except I got her to smile for the second picture I took of her.

  I showed her pictures on my Kindle just to give her something to think about. She smiles at pictures of her grandkids but when we got to a picture of me she just stares at it. Sober as a judge. I started to wonder if she was blaming me for this nursing home stint. But Larita said she responded to her in the same way.

   Tomorrow I will go in at 9am to comb her hair, we'll see how she does then. I plan to stop by the house and get some things she is familiar with and see if that makes her happy.

I had to chuckle a little tonight at Merry. After a long day of laundry and pulling weeds in my garden I decided to soak my feet before I go to bed. Merry took the opportunity to help me. She grabs the foot brush and goes to work.

On this particular footbrush is what looks like a cheese grater in miniature. She proceeds to use the thing on my heel and when I flinched she says,
  "Don't be a wimp mom."

  She continues with her grating job and gives me a look and says, "Someday you'll thank me."

  Aha! I laughed, maybe I understand my mom just a little better now!

   It will take awhile for me to get used to the new pattern. I always feel like it's time to run and put mom to bed and then realize that she isn't at home. Most likely she is adjusting to the new rhythm too!

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Changes

  I can't believe all these things are happening to mom while I am on vacation. But in some ways maybe it is at the best time. This way she's being cared for at the hospital, and I don't have to worry about Angie carrying the weight of care by herself. 

  So I have come out of the wilderness to do laundry and discover that the laundrymat has free WiFi! Oh joy! And so when I think of you, my relatives and readers, who deserves an update about mom before I check email and fb? Well, you of course!

  I'm not there in the fray, so I have to report what I hear rather than firsthand info. My Dad said last night that her numbers are good and she will be discharged before long to go to a nursing home. I'm not sure how she will respond to that change. Angie said she is pretty agitated in the hospital.

  It's interesting how things go. We were looking at putting her in the home for the 8 weeks that Angie will be gone because of her difficulty with walking, I felt I couldn't handle it by myself. There were a lot of hoops to jump through. Now because she ended up in the hospital she will go to the nursing home from there and medicare will pay for it. There is still a mountain of paperwork. We have to go through a lawyer to appoint a guardian because we never got the pow for health done when she was OK. Some how we never thought mom would be the one to need it this soon. If you don't have this done, then get it done today. It will save you a lot of headache.

 

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